It's over! or is it??

So I did it.  I did the Special K diet for two whole weeks.  And you know what? It wasn't that hard! And I lost 5.3 pounds in two weeks!! Yeah!! So i made another decision.  I talked it over with mike and decided to continue on the diet. I just bought another two weeks worth of food and I changed the food up a bit to give me some more variety and hopefully I will continue to lose weight.  Plus, now that it's getting nicer outside I can go on walks and get myself moving as well.

So here we go....again!

Day 5

The hunger has gotten so much easier!! I don't seem to notice it as much and it has already become easier to refuse the instant cravings and impulse eating.  It simply shows that it was all in my mind.  I am very proud of myself especially while I was frosting the cake for Luke's birthday party tomorrow! It took every ounce of my will not to lick the knife when I was done! But I didn't!  I also resisted the urge to eat some of the candy that I used to decorate it with.

So here is the report so far: In one week I have lost 3 pounds!!  I know it's not much but it is still a step in the right direction.

Day 3

Today was alittle easier.  The hunger wasn't so bad.  But I still didn't get to work out today.  Mike and I are currently in the process of fixing up and painting the guest room in preparation for the family coming this weekend.  So we have spent every spare moment that last week in the guest room painting.  But the good news is, we are done with the majority of the painting and there is just small things left so I will have time to work out tomorrow.  Hopefully.  Well that's it for now.  It's getting late, for me anyway.  So good night world.

Day 2

Here we are at day two.  So far so good.  I am attempting to get used to the hungry feeling.  Most people don't want a diet that leaves you feeling hungry but when you are in my situation, feeling hungry isn't such a bad thing.

Being on this diet definitely helped me not buy so much extra food at the grocery store.  I kept looking at all this snack food and it was so much easier to say no.  When I tried to do this on my own I knew that I could have small snacks and the such but I always bought too much and then would eat way too much trying to justify that i was allowed snacks.  But with this diet, I already had my snacks and my snacks are already picked out for me.

No working out today though.  My little visitor for the month is here and horrible cramps.

Cereal...yum!

So today is the start of a diet.  I know what you are thinking.  "Ugg. Diets. They suck hard." Yeah I know but I am trying something different.  I am starting the Special K Diet.  Now I know that this is only a two week kind of thing but I am mainly using this as a kick start to losing weight.  I have decided that it is time for me to do something.  I am not unhappy and I am not doing this so people will look at me different but I do understand what a danger to my health it can be.  I also am doing this so when Mike and I decide to have another child I want to be able do a VBAC.  And one thing that can affect that is my weight. So. Today is day one.  And the best part about this diet is you eat alot of cereal.  I love cereal!!

I have been struggling with my weight since I was in middle school.  I have only managed to lose weight once in my life and that was back in highschool so this is going to be fun.  One of my biggest hang ups when it comes to losing weight is because I was always trying to do it for someone else.  And then it turned into not wanting to lose weight because I wanted people to like me because of who I am on the inside.  Not by what I looked like and it was my way of rebelling against the world.  But now, I am doing this for me.  And me alone.  It won't be easy I know but I am determined and hopefully blogging about it will help keep me accountable.

So....here we go!

so happy and so sad

So my beautiful sister is getting married tomorrow! And I can't be there.  Luke is too little drive for 12 hours to Albuquerque, NM and we don't have the funds to fly.  I very much wish I could be there to share in her special day but the good thing is is that my sister is wonderful and understanding.  My sister-in-law is going to be there to take pictures so she had better do a good job! (Hear that Sarah? I am counting on you! lol)

Amy is marrying a man named Marc.  Who is a very fun and wonderful man who knows how to take care of my sister.  I pray that they will be so happy together.

I love you sister!! I miss you and good luck tomorrow!!

common what?

I remember when I found out that I was pregnant.  I was so excited.  And scared.  I was so excited to have a little bundle of joy that I would get to play with and watch grow up.  And then I became scared.  I was going to have another persons life in my hands.  I was going to be responsible for keeping this baby alive.  I was going to be responsible for raising and training this child for when he grew up and went on his own.

I may have only been a mom for 11 months now but in this short amount of time I have come to realize one thing.  It is amazing how often common sense comes into play when it comes to being a parent.  Which then makes me sad when I think about how little common sense there is left in the world.  Like you shouldn't have your baby in Walmart at 11:00 while you do your grocery shopping.  Don't take a toddler to a nice restaurant.  Make sure your child wears a coat to school when they are sick and it's 30 degrees outside.

See. Common sense.

Gushing

Right now I want to talk about my wonderful husband.

He works hard everyday so I can stay home and raise our son.

He is the most wonderful, loving, caring, selfless man I have ever met.  And for some unknown reason he decided that he want to spend the rest of his life with me.  Me.  This awful mess of a woman, who has frequent mood swings and can be crazier then a wet cat in a barrel.

I just want to tell the world how much I love him and that even though I get angry with him for some made up reason that only makes sense in my head almost every single day, I praise God that he was blessed with enough patience for the both of us.

I love you hunny!!

Ugg!

Today did not start off so good.  First off Luke woke up at 6:15 which is about 30 mins earlier then normal.  My "Time of the Month" came yesterday so I have awful cramps and bloating.  Plus, I made the bad decision of not cleaning up last night before I went to bed so i have a filthy kitchen that still needs to be cleaned up. 

So, while Luke is napping I have been attempting to make it better.  Let's see, cup of coffee..check.  Pain killers...check.  Chocolate covered strawberries...check.  Dog show on tv....check.  And dog cuddling with me, doing his best to make me feel better...check. 

I think I will survive this day!

Sock

All of us at one time or another had a favorite blanket or stuffed animal that we carried around with us when we were kids.  Whenever you were scared or hurt or lonely all you had to do was give that beloved thing a squeeze and everything was all right.  For my son, it is a sock.  It doesn't matter what sock, just one of his socks.  Strange, right? I don't get it either.  Whenever he is hurt or upset and I can't seem to get him to calm down, a sock usually does the trick. All I have to do is take a sock of his foot and hand it to him and his world is alright again. For example, today i was sitting on the floor while he was playing around and he went around the corner where i couldn't see him.  I assumed he was at the baby gate like he normally is and i just made sure to listen for any signs of trouble.  And then of course, the inevitable happened.  I heard something hit the floor and then crying so i got up and headed around the corner and what do i find? I had left the door to the upstairs open and he had crawled up a few steps and decided to head back down! So I found him face first on the floor with his body still on the steps.  I quickly ran over and picked him and rocked him in my arms to try and calm him down.  Now, this normally works when he hurts himself (which is quite often right now, considering he can now pull himself up) and after a few minutes of cuddling with mommy he is ready to get down and play some more. But for some reason this time it wasn't working.  I tried everything, rocking, singing, distraction and he was still pretty upset.  So I then used my "ace in the hole." I took one of his socks off and handed it to him.  And almost instantly he was fine.  That was about an hour ago and he has been dragging his sock around with him ever since.  At one point he had dropped it and crawled off and then when he realized he didn't have it he turned around and went back for it. 

I don't understand what it is about his socks that brings him so much comfort.  Maybe it's because they keep his feet nice and warm and he loves them for that or maybe just because they are really good at sopping up drool.  But for whatever reason, he has found his proverbial "security blanket." 

The many hats of Luke

Luke and I were bored today so I decided to have a little fun with his hats! Are you ready for this? Just beware...the cuteness just might leave you breathless.

Hat #1: I call this his Elf hat.  He would be perfect as one of santa's little helpers!

Hat #2: This is his Garden Gnome hat.  I could just plant him in my garden! (If I had a garden.)

Hat #3: Just a cute little winter hat that Grandma Reeves bought for him!

Hat #4: One of the hats that he come home from the hospital in! He is so big now.

Hat #5: A hat that was made for him by Mike's Aunt Marsha. So cute!!

So there you are!

God Bless

What's that smell?

Smells. Odors. They can bring about some of our most powerful and special memories.  For me it's the smell of a car shop.  My grandpa has been buying wrecked cars and rebuilding them since before I was born.  I remember watching him work in his shop and even helping him at times when I got older.  My dad also worked down there with him.  No matter where I am, passing a man on the street who is covered in car grease or sitting next to one at a restaurant, if I smell that smell all of those wonderful memories come back to me.

Coffee is another strong memory smell for me.  My first job was working for my dad.  My duties were to clean his office which included things like vacuuming, dusting, emptying trash cans and of course, cleaning out the coffee pot.  I hated coffee up until I graduated college but I have always loved the smell.
Smell happily!
God Bless

Words, words, words

I was listening to one of the christian radio stations (I can't remember which one) and they were talking about how they do a Word of the Year.  They challenge the listeners to pray to God to give them a word for the year.  Maybe it's something they need to work on or something to remember.  They encouraged people to email or call in with the word that God was speaking to them.  Words like, humble, encouraging, selflessness, etc. One of the DJ's was sharing her word and she said that God kept telling her the word "clean". So she decided to look up the definition just to see what it said and she had said that the first definition she found said "free from darkness." Wow.  How amazing is that.  I thought that was so cool.  I was even going to post about it here in my blog.  So I sat down and got out my dictionary and looked for what it said.  And, to my great disappointment, I couldn't find that definition anywhere.  I looked in every online dictionary I could find. So I decided to look up some other good words.  Here I think is a great word for the year:

TRANSPARENT.  First definition from Webster: "having the property of transmitting light without appreciable scattering so that bodies lying beyond are seen clearly."

"..so that bodies lying beyond are seen clearly." Hmmmmm.....chew on that for a while.

God Bless

Glow Worms

When I was in college I went through a phase and was into buying panties for every holiday.  I had a pair for every one of them.  My favorite pair was my halloween pair.  Mainly because they glowed in the dark! They were pretty sweet. Well, anyway, when i bought them they came with a sticker that said "Glows in the Dark."  And as a joke, one of my friends stuck it my bible.  And it just kind of stayed there.  I don't know why I never removed it, I was just lazy I guess.

That sticker stayed on my bible for around 5 months before anyone ever noticed it was there.  Not really a problem but it just happened to be my senior seminar teacher, Dr. Wolcott.  I was sitting in class one day and Dr. Wolcott was talking about the importance of spending time in the Word and then looked over at my desk and pointed out my bible.  He said that he thought that was a great reminder. In order for the sticker to glow in the dark it must spend time in the light. Just like us.  We can walk around pretending to glow for Christ but when the darkness comes we are exposed for what we really are. 

I want to glow in the dark. So i guess it's time for a little sunbathing. :)

Winter Wonderland

I love snow. I love snow. I love snow. Here, I will say it again. I love snow! Saturday night, God decided to dump about 8-12 inches of snow on our little part of the world and turned everything into a world of white.  I know alot of people hate snow mainly because they hate driving in it but I say, "Get over it!" It's a part of life. Just like waxing, shaving, and panty hose.  You may hate them but there are just some things you can't ignore. 

You know why I love snow so much? Because it makes everything look clean.  It covers that spot on your lawn where the grass refuses to grow.  It covers the mounds of poo that your dog has deposited.  And the piles of leaves that never got picked up.  It turns the messy yard into a beautiful landscape of icicles and glistening untouched snow.

Just like how God washed my sinful, poo-filled, leaf covered soul.  He took my ugly excuse of a heart and washed me whiter than snow.  Everytime I see the snow falling I think of that wonderful gift He gave us
Psalm 51: 7 "Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow."

The "Yes" Factor

I remember the days of the myspace surveys that everybody would fill out and then send to everyone else.  It would ask you questions such as "What is your favorite food?" "Where were you born?" "Where in the world would you visit if you could go anywhere?" "Who do you think will send this back to you?" It was typically just a big list of questions that I would attempt to make some humor out of.  But the one question that I remember most was: "What is the first thought in your head when you wake up in the morning?" Every time I would answer that question with " OOOO! I gotta pee!"  But what if, my first thought every morning was "Today I say Yes."

I have been struggling lately with getting my relationship back on track with God.  And my biggest problem I have run into is committing every day to sit down, and read my bible.  Why should that little task be so hard.  I LOVE to read! I can finish off a book in about a week if it's really good.  But why is it so hard for me to read the one book that will help me to grow closer to my creator? 

For people who know me, I have a tendency to become easily overwhelmed.  It starts off with I think about everything I need to accomplish and then I start to worry about doing it correctly and then I start worrying about what happens if I don't do it correctly and then I begin to think how that will affect the days ahead and then the weeks ahead and then on and on and on.  Until the enormity of it all crashes down on me and the inevitable meltdown begins.  I shut down, and get nothing done. Usually crying happens somewhere in the there as well.

And then I had a baby.  Talk about a stress overload.  I cried nearly every single day for the first few months after my son was born.  Everyday I continually stressed over him growing up and what I should be doing to make sure that he turns out to be a healthy, Godly man.  Constantly worrying about how I was going to discipline him when he needs it, how to encourage him without becoming overbearing,  how were we ever going to pay for his college!!  I had read plenty of articles that said to take it a day at a time.  Simply take care of the things for that day and don't think about tomorrow.  But for me that was still too much.  I learned, for me, I needed to take it an hour at a time.  I would say "Just worry about right now.  Don't worry about later today, just think about right now."  In fact, this was actually a wonderful change in my life.  Making myself constantly put it into practice I learned to also treasure every single moment with my newborn son. 

Well now that he is 10 months old, I have finally been able to move back to taking things a day at a time.  I have also learned that only some things need to be taken a week at at time.  Simply because I have to plan out my dinners for the week  doesn't mean I have to plan out everything for the week.  So I am going to make a vow right here and now.  I am going to read my bible today.  I am not going to say "I am going to read my bible everyday" because that is just too much for me to handle right now.  I only want to think about today.  Let tomorrow worry about it's self.  Today I will say Yes.  Yes to God. Yes to reading my Bible. Yes to honoring my husband. Yes to loving my family.

Today I will say Yes. And Today and Today, and Today until there are no more Today's left.

Thank You Lord

When I was a kid, before we ate our meals we, in the Reeves household, would always pray for our food.  Sometimes my mom would ask us children if any of us wanted to pray.  Then a little voice would pipe up "I want to!"  As we all cringed, my brother would settle down to his business.  He had a reputation for giving very long prayers because he would say "Thank You" for everything he could see.  The swing set, the table, the dog, the tv..etc.  Inevitably one of my parents would have to cut him off or we would have been sitting there for hours.  It started out with my mom making him pray and so he did it as payback and then it just became a joke.  He would volunteer simply to hear us all groan.  Little did we know, that that little punk was teaching us all a lesson.  Be Thankful.  For everything you see. For everything you hear. For everything you have.  Tonight I simply want to be thankful.  There are so many things in our lives that we take for granted.  Toilets, dish washers, air conditioning, heat, a roof over our heads, beds to sleep in, stores to go shopping in, clothes to put on our backs.  Need I go on?  I started a couple of months ago saying thank you for everything I use as I use it.  When I am putting the dishes in the dish washer I say, "Thank you Lord for this dish washer." Or when I am taking a nice hot steamy shower, "Thank you Lord for this wonderful hot water." At first, it was more repetition then anything but after a while, it came straight from the heart.  I began to say it with meaning and sincerity.  The more I did it the more I began to be grateful for everything else in my life.  Even the ones that are hard to accept.  For example, the days where my husband has to work his two jobs can sometimes be trying and all I want is for him to come home.  So, when these feelings begin to rise, I say "thank you" to God for my husbands drive and integrity to be able to work two jobs so I can stay home and raise our son. (Thank You hunny! I love you and I appriciate everything you do for our family!)
I pray as you go to bed tonight...that you will remember to tell Jesus "thank you".  For even though it may seem simple, like a child saying a prayer for his food, He still loves to hear it.

Things they never tell you about having a baby

Here is a post from my facebook that i wanted to post to my blog.  Keep in mind that this was written 5 months ago.

I thought that I would share some pearls of wisdom about some of the things that I have learned over the past several months that nobody ever told me about.  So, please enjoy.

1. Breasfeeding is so......FRUSTRATING!!!! GRRRRRR!!!

When I was pregnant and had decided that I was going to breastfeed my child I talked to alot of people and did a lot of research.  I thought i had it down pat.  I knew all the different holds and how to take care of the utters (I will call them that for the sake of modesty) and about how often they should eat and how long and pretty much anything else you can read about.  I imagined wonderful times of feeding while I held my child while I read a good book and going through boxes of utter pads to keep me from soaking my shirt in public when I heard other babies cry.  Boy was I in for a rude awakening.  Things started off good.  Even though I had a C-section i was able to nurse him within the first hour he was born and i had alot of help from the nursing staff and the lactation consultant (who also worked as a nurse in the maternity ward so she was readily available.)  But it didn't take long for things to go south. I won't go into all the details but here are the main points.  I had a baby who was not an efficent eater (and still isn't) so he liked to eat for a full hour for the first 2 months and he ate every two hours.  I had a bout with thrush which was horribly painful and made me cry almost everytime he latched on and the only hold that worked for me (and still does) doesn't allow me to have a free hand while feeding him.  I also deal with a low milk supply.  No leaking for me, but that also meant that I also had problems having enough milk to feed him with sometimes.  All my dreams about having a wonderful time feeding did nothing but mock me at this point.  I spent alot of time crying, as did he, and just down right hating breastfeeding.  It wasn't wonderful, it wasn't beautiful. It hurt, it was frustrating, and nothing at this point could help me but to just struggle on with it.  I finally figured out that no amount of research can tell you what is best for you and your baby.  Your baby is different from every other baby that has ever been and ever will be born.  We finally now (after 5 months) have a okay feeding time.  I still struggle every now and then but I just remind myself to keep calm, say a quick prayer and keep going.  But don't get me wrong...I wouldn't have changed my decision.  Breastfeeding is and always will be the best way to feed your baby.  The good moments...though they are few and far between are totally worth it all.

2. Where's the poop???

While reading a book that my husband had given me before the birth, I discovered that breastfed babies not only had less smelly poop but also typically poop only once every 2-3 days! I was thinking "awesome!"  Less poop for me to wipe up! But what the book didn't tell me was that some breastfed babies can go up to 7 days with out pooping!!! The first time he went that long it had been about 5 days and I had to call the doctor to ask what to do.  That is when she told me that some can go that long.  As long as he wasn't uncomfortable then he is fine! Sounds good to me!  The only down side is that when he finally does poop, he fills the diaper to maximum capacity!

3. Plan???? Who needs a plan??

One of the things that the birthing class teaches is that it is important to have a plan when you go into the hospital.  What kind of pain meds you want, if any, who is going to be in the birthing room, what items you will need during labor such as movies, massager, extra undies, or maybe a book.  I spent so much time worrying about how everything was gonna go and making sure the bag was packed and that I had the diaper bag packed and ready to go.  Well here is some advice....Don't plan so much!! Because chances are, as soon as you know your having a baby all those plans go out the window! It happened so suddenly for me that all my planning went to waste.  I laughed about it later.  I didn't even go through labor...I have no idea what labor pains feel like or what it's like trying to think about something else other then the pain going on downstairs.  I went in for my 37 week appointment and found out that my BP was high and they admitted me and then had a C-section the next day!  We hadn't put the bag in the car yet, the car seat was still at home.  I had nothing but my work clothes that I came to my appointment in!  So again...don't over plan....you'll just be laughing about it later.

4. Mountain Dew, baby!!!

I had read plenty of times about women you had complications after having a spinal tap for the birth.  I had read and heard that women could get what was called a spinal headache.  That it was extremely painful and just awful to endure.  I had also read that only about 10% of women get this headache.  So I wasn't worried when I had my spinal tap for the C-section.  But, you guessed it.  I got one.  And it was awful!! It was painful to sit up and nurse, or eat, or just to go to the bathroom.  They tired several things to help. Pain meds, sinus pills and one nurse suggested trying caffine.  I tried all of them but none worked.  They finally gave me a blood patch which helped instantly.  I was finally able to go home.  But then, a couple of days later...it came back.  I called the doctor and then finally went in because it hurt so bad.  You know what the nurse told me?? Drink caffine.  I told her I had tried some in the hospital but it hadn't worked.  She then proceeded to tell me that it wasn't enough.  She said that I needed to chug down as much caffine as I could stand! So, the doctor bascially gave me the okay to drown myself in mountain dew! It was wonderful to hear that after nine months of no caffine at all.  So my mom bought a bunch at the store and i spent the next four days buzzed on moutain dew.  So now I know for the next spinal tap....forget the blood patch...give me some mountain dew!!!

5. OOOooowwww!!

Nursing and sunburns don't mix.  Try nursing a baby who loves to rake his fingernails across your sunburnt chest.  Enough said.

Here I come

I have decided to start a blog.  I have never been one for putting my words down on paper (or in this case, computer) but in order to save my husband from my constant chatting when he arrives home, this blog will help me get my thoughts out.  After all, as much as i love talking to my now 10 month old, Luke, he isn't much for adult conversation.  I don't know if anyone will ever read this but this is more for my benefit then anything.

I am definitly going to apologize in advance if these become boring or spaced to far apart because if any one really knows me, then they know that I am not very good at keeping up on things.  Like housework, shopping, and laundry.  The only thing that I have managed to keep up on is the diaper changes.  And the only reason for that is because that is something that simply can not be ignored.

Well that is going to have to be all for now.  Luke just woke up from his morning nap and he has never been a patient one.  So that is all for now.

God Bless,
A new mommy